Musings from the Disenchanted Doctor: an unscientific blog








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"Fra-JEEL-e!"


Thanks to Hall of the Revels for linking to the annual Washington Post Marshmallow Peeps Diorama Contest. This is what Easter is all about. My personal favorite is #18, a reenactment from A Christmas Story (hence the quote above), but they're all good and wildly inventive. Take a look.

It's a bit out of season for me to say this, but "A Christmas Story" is one of my favorite movies, with Darrin McGavin (the father) as the highlight. It captures the eccentricities of family life and the highlights and dark sides of childhood better than any film I've seen, plus its take on life in the 1940's is pitch perfect.

Labels: Pop Culture

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The Way I'm Feeling Post-Call? Yes!




I do love these LOLCat pictures; they have one appropriate for every mood.

Labels: Pop Culture

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Weekend Roundup

I promised myself I'd do some blogging this weekend, yet I don't have anything really exciting to tell you. I spent the weekend on call. Not so bad really, except that due to a Citrix "upgrade" I lost the ability to access office and hospital records from home, so spent a good chunk of yesterday and today at the office. This system has spoiled me - it feels so awkward not having access to patients' charts!

Citrix, in case you aren't familiar with it, is some sort of program that creates a liason between work computer systems and employees' home internet access. It turns out my sister's office uses it too. Sad to say it is somewhat temperamental and I made the weekend on-call computer types quite miserable trying to get me back on the system. As of tonight they still haven't succeeded.

Church? Didn't get there. I don't even try when I'm on call, knowing I could get paged out every five to ten minutes. I did get around to making my standby green cheesecake though, tomorrow being Saint Patrick's. V. always throws a party for St. Pat's, good Irishwoman that she is. (Since St. Patrick's Day falls during Holy Week this year I asked her if we would be celebrating in sackcloth and ashes. Her response: "Hell no.")

I did get a bit more housecleaning done, orgainizing my cookbook shelves in the kitchen and taking all the Internet recipes I've printed out for the past few years and filing them in a binder. The cookbook cupboard looks much better now.

That's it. Stay tuned for more thrilling updates.

Labels: The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
A Busy Winter

I've been telling myself to post here for a while, but what with the flu decimating both patients and staff - not to mention ramping up the number of patients I see daily now that we've been on this electronic chart system for six months - it just hasn't happened. Let's review.

• About a month ago, I took a lovely but brief trip to Philadelphia specifically to see this fellow perform. Should you ever get a chance to see him, I highly recommend that you go; he is outstanding. He's going to be performing at the Hollywood Bowl this summer and my parents and I are already getting our tickets.
• On my return from said trip, I had a Hell Week where one of my office partners was out on vacation and the other was deathly ill with flu and walking pneumonia on top of it. I was sick as well but made it through the week without collapsing.
• I saw a great show in Hollywood called "Cartoon Dump," which I'll try to tell you more about later.
• I am expecting five houseguests in a month, so most of my nonworking time has been spent at home cleaning and organizing. I've thrown out or donated a ton of stuff, hung a lot of pictures and moved furniture and knick-knacks around to good result - the place is looking much better overall.

And now back to my regularly scheduled patients. More later.

Labels: The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Thanks To Mr. Gygax

I was never much of a Dungeons and Dragons player, but out of curiosity, I decided to take this quiz. (Tip of hat to Mr. Ockham)


I Am A: Lawful Neutral Human Cleric (5th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength-8
Dexterity-10
Constitution-11
Intelligence-16
Wisdom-11
Charisma-13

Alignment:
Lawful Neutral A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs him. Order and organization are paramount to him. He may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or he may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government. Lawful neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you are reliable and honorable without being a zealot. However, lawful neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it seeks to eliminate all freedom, choice, and diversity in society.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Clerics act as intermediaries between the earthly and the divine (or infernal) worlds. A good cleric helps those in need, while an evil cleric seeks to spread his patron's vision of evil across the world. All clerics can heal wounds and bring people back from the brink of death, and powerful clerics can even raise the dead. Likewise, all clerics have authority over undead creatures, and they can turn away or even destroy these creatures. Clerics are trained in the use of simple weapons, and can use all forms of armor and shields without penalty, since armor does not interfere with the casting of divine spells. In addition to his normal complement of spells, every cleric chooses to focus on two of his deity's domains. These domains grants the cleric special powers, and give him access to spells that he might otherwise never learn. A cleric's Wisdom score should be high, since this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Labels: Pop Culture

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Chaucer Comes for the Archbishop and Decks Him One

You may or may not be familiar with the latest brouhaha regarding the Archbishop of Canterbury and his silly remarks re: introducing Sharia law to England. If not, try going here, or here to read Ruth Gledhill's response. His remarks have created a hue and cry all over the Anglican world, but the best by far has been Iowahawk's take on the matter. Not only is it a sharp piece of commentary, it's a brilliant parody of Chaucer. Goeth and readeth itte.

(Props to Chris Johnson)

Labels: Episcopaliana

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
T-Shirt of the Day


I saw a patient with back pain today for follow up. He requested a narcotics refill, which I felt was warranted and which I gave him. What cracked me up, though, was his T-shirt displaying the following slogan:

I'M PROBABLY LYING.
I considered thanking him for being upfront about it, but chickened out. Seriously, is that the message you want to convey when you go to see your MD?

Labels: Medicine, The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Um, Hi Everybody

Welcome to everybody directed here by Stand Firm. I'm glad you're here. I'm in the midst of another busy day but will try to post more later.

Labels: Episcopaliana

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
How To Knit a Dr Who Scarf


I once dated a guy who had an authentic Dr Who scarf in his possession and would wear it at every possible opportunity - as in every Halloween, campus party, etc. (I don't mean "authentic" as in "it was on the show" but as in "knitted to those specifications.") I forget who knitted it for him - it certainly wasn't me. Just for nostalgia's sake I went online to see if there might be instructions for knitting said scarf, and what do you know! There they are. (Oh, who am I kidding? This is probably one of the first things ever posted on the Internet.)

I am not exactly an experienced knitter but I have tried my hand at a couple of scarves, which are what every neophyte knitter starts with. Should you be having a long slow winter and care to have a go, be my guest - just click on the link above.

::starts to hum Dr Who theme::

Labels: Pop Culture

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Labels: Los Angeles

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Dr. Alice Has a Camera; Be Very Afraid


At least once a month and sometimes once a week I spend a significant chunk of my weekend driving around the city rounding on my nursing home patients. When my patients go to SNFs (skilled nursing facilities) or wind up requiring long term care, I follow them there; it's part of being a primary care MD. Two weeks ago as I was rounding I realized that I still had my digital camera sitting in my purse, where it had been living since my vacation. I decided to liven up my drive by taking random pictures around the city and had so much fun that I plan to do this every time I round.



Wilshire Boulevard, Beverly Hills, early Sunday morning




Los Angeles in January (when we're lucky; right now it's raining cats and dogs.)




LET MY PALM TREES GO!! - a shot taken though the parking lot gate of one nursing home



An arty close-up of the cinderblock wall, same nursing home


It definitely livened up my day. I'll try to do this again.

Labels: Los Angeles, The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Picture of the Day





Aah, Los Angeles in winter. You gotta love it.
(Thanks to L.A. Observed for this one)

Labels: Los Angeles

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Dilemma (Minor)


I'm home. Had a lovely vacation, thank you, but I managed to come down with a sinus infection during the second week - this seems to happen nearly every time I travel. Whether it was the change in climate, spending time with five kids (several of whom had respiratory infections) or my allergy to something in the Baja California environment - or a combination of all three - I traveled back sick. I finally knuckled under and started antibiotics, which have made a difference already. Now I just have to shake this cough.

The dilemma I mentioned above is: do I go in to the office today and start clearing out the two weeks' worth of deadwood on my desk, or shall I stay home nursing my cold? I fully intended to go in but the temptation to stay home is growing, especially since we've had a weekend's worth of rain and we're supposed to get more today. Hmm. I did stay home yesterday... I'm probably going to go in. First, though, let's catch up.

I spent the week after Christmas in San Jose del Cabo with my parents, my siblings and their families - twelve of us altogether. It was a lot of fun, but given that the kids range in age from nine years to eight months there was not a whole lot of partying going on: I think on New Year's Eve we were all in bed by nine-thirty. I was awakened at midnight by the sound of fireworks, went out on the balcony and was rewarded with one of the most beautiful firework displays I have ever seen, held over the ocean with similar displays up and down the coast and not a speck of fog to ruin it! I've been in other parts of Mexico at this time of year, namely Zihuatanejo and Cancun, and found the humidity plaguing. Unlike these areas, Baja California Sur is a desert climate: there was very little humidity in Cabo and a nice breeze. It's definitely geared to tourists, though rather low key. I believe Cabo San Lucas, the sister town about twenty miles away, is much more "touristy" but we didn't get over there to check it out.

What really struck me about Baja were the real estate advertisements everywhere; condominiums are being built all over town and the English-language press is chock full of photo spreads and articles about new real estate developments. Interestingly, the Cabo airport has a space for private jets between its two terminals and that space was packed the day we left. I think that in the last fifteen to twenty years the Cabo area has really exploded as a tourist and retirement destination. The people who've been here since it was a collection of small towns in the Seventies have either adapted and built businesses or they've moved on to smaller, more isolated areas.

Interestingly, I ran across this article about crime in Baja after we returned. From what I can gather the biggest problems are in northern Baja, especially near the border, and many crimes are directed at surfers or take place on the toll roads. We had no problems whatsoever, but we were in a relatively well-developed area with a large population and we did very little traveling around. Also, the beaches in our area are no good for surfing or swimming, with warnings about strong undertow currents plastered everywhere, therefore there's no real beach population to prey upon.


I do want to tell you about spending time with one of my nephews, who's five years old and possessed of a remarkably morbid imagination which pleases me no end. For example, as we were reading an article about whale watching in the Gulf of California I showed him a picture of a whale right next to a boat full of tourists. His first question: "Can a whale kill you?"

For a millisecond I considered explaining the plot of Moby-Dick to a five-year-old and then came to my senses. "No."

"But if it was really, really big, could it kill you?"

I held up my thumb. "Whales eat plankton. They can't eat anything bigger than this," indicating my thumbnail. "They can't kill you."

Later that day, in the hot tub next to the condo's pool: "Is it true that if you fall asleep in a hot tub you die?"

I stared at him in disbelief. "Why are you asking?" I managed. "Where did you hear about this?"

He pointed to his older brother (who's seven) and who chimed in, "I did hear that."

"Well," I began, "you could, but only if it was really, really hot and you spent too much time in there and you didn't drink enough water. Then you could faint and drown. That's why hot tubs have limits for how hot they get."

"What happens if it's one degree too hot?" And so forth. I find it tremendously fun to answer their questions, but I did run into trouble with my sister a few times. When she shrieks at me, "THEY DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT," I know it's time to stop.


Speaking of stopping, I guess I've put off going to the office for as long as I possibly can. Catch you later.

Labels: Pop Culture, The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
This Snow Thing.


It's overrated.

We woke to snow here in Denver Christmas morning and it didn't stop all day. The next day's paper informed us that it was the snowiest Christmas Day in Denver in more than a hundred years. Today more snow was predicted and we got more than was expected. I have not seen snow like this in years, since I lived in Philadelphia back when I was in medical school.

The kids love it, of course. My niece and nephews got sleds - snowboards? - these sort of foam things that look like boogie boards, anyway, and immediately clamored to go sledding. They've done that a couple of times this week and greatly enjoyed it. Me, I volunteered to shovel the driveway with the boys this afternoon and found out what a chore it is with several inches of snow on the driveway. As we worked the mail truck came by and the nice woman delivering the mail greeted us. Frankly, I can't believe she made it out in this weather.

"So how's your afternoon going?" I asked.

"Whoops! Great!" she laughed, nearly losing her balance on the slick surface as she opened a mailbox.

Labels: The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Typing Impediment


I just finished typing the following phrase into a patient's EMR chart: "Sputum culture positive for Serratia marcescens sensitive to ceftriaxone" and thought, well, there's a sentence you wouldn't want to attempt if you had a lisp. Along similar lines, I have developed an annoying habit of typing "tomorrow" as "tomowwow," which makes me feel like a three-year-old. Or Barbara Walters. Or a three-year-old Barbara Walters.

Forgive the scrambled thoughts: I leave this weekend for a two week vacation, hallelujah. I'll try to post if possible, but I promise nothing as I don't know what my computer access is going to be.

Everyone enjoy your holidays, and a happy 2008 to you.

Labels: The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Blue Wind


Sitting here shivering tonight in my underinsulated 1920's-built house (apparently the developer's motto was "Insulation? We don't need no steenkin' insulation!")

We've had a fair amount of rain this week for which I am grateful, considering the drought year we've been promised for lo these many months. The drought may yet happen if we get a dry January, February or both. But tonight after the rain the wind has kicked up. Oy, the wind.

We inhabitants of Southern California love to talk about the Santa Anas. If you are a Raymond Chandler fan you will be familiar with his story Red Wind, surely the finest story about weather ever written. But old Raymond left something out: Santa Anas can come at any time of year. Mostly they are associated with hot, dry weather but they come in the winter too, and if you get caught in one then forget Raymond Chandler, we're talking Jack London and To Build a Fire. (Surely the finest story about freezing to death ever written.)

Damn, there it goes again, whistling through the trees outside. Inching its way past the ill-fitting windows. I have lived in colder climates than this, I hasten to say, and in Minnesota or similar latitudes this would probably qualify as a blustery spring night. But I am fond of saying that all weather is relative, or to quote a greater authority than myself: "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." The fact that Mark Twain apparently never said it is beside the point: the quotation was apropos enough to have been repeated for the last hundred-and-something years. I defy the most durable Aptenodytes forsteri from March of the Penguins to stand through a winter Santa Ana in Los Angeles without crying Uncle!

I have to go now; I'm going to put on sweat pants and three pairs of socks and hurl myself into bed underneath every blanket I possess.

UPDATE. I woke in the night and realized that the power had gone off and come back on, so as a precaution I set a non-electric alarm clock and opened my garage door (which is electric). It's a good thing I did: power was off this morning and stayed off. I showered by candlelight and dressed by flashlight.

The power guys showed up with their truck about 5:45 this morning and were still there when I left; I stuck my head out the window to watch their arrival and saw a perfectly clear sky and smelled clean cold desert wind.

Labels: Los Angeles, The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
On Why I Can't Fit Into Modern Society


Several years ago, this would be about the time I started blogging, I went to a party in Hollywood. My hostess had a beautiful black cat darting around the apartment. I scooped it up and asked, "What is your cat's name?"

"Chandler," she answered.

"Oh, that's a wonderful name for a cat," I said warmly. "Raymond Chandler is one of my favorite writers and he loved cats."

"Well, that's not why I named him," she replied blankly. "I named him after the character on Friends."

"Oh," I replied blankly in my turn (I had not, and still not have to this day, seen Friends).

'Nuff said.

Labels: Pop Culture, The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #

 
Makes You Give In and Cry...


...so tonight I was reading Lileks and came across the following: And I do believe the label. I have to. What else do we have in this ever-changing world in which we live in?

and some sort of switch went off in my brain: Aha! Live and Let Die!

Off I went to Napster, and I was right. Found it right off the bat. I really enjoyed listening to these lyrics:

What does it matter to ya,
When you've got a job to do you've got to do it well,
You've got to give the other fella hell

Somehow it sounds exactly like practicing medicine.

Labels: The Doctor's Life

posted by Dr. Alice at #